Grief and Gratitude: Faith in the Fire

Grief has a way of humbling us, breaking us open, and inviting us to deeper places of faith. When you lose someone you love—especially under difficult circumstances like suicide—it can feel like the ground beneath you is gone. But even in the chaos and uncertainty, healing is possible. And gratitude can rise from the ashes.

Faith Through Loss

In the wake of my husband’s passing, I learned that grief is not something to “get over,” but something we walk through—hand-in-hand with God. As a mother, I had to find a way to guide my children through their pain while managing my own. There were, and still are, dark days, quiet days, and days of relentless questioning: Could I have done more? Did I miss the signs?

But prayer became my anchor. Journaling served as a reflection of my past and helped towards a wholesome future. And God became my refuge like never before. Even when I couldn’t understand, I trusted.

Instruction in the Storm

Hardship teaches. Here are a few truths that helped me—and may help you too:

• Protect your peace. Not everyone needs access to your pain. Choose safe, wise spaces to share—pastors, counsellors, trusted spiritual mentors. Family and friends may mean well, but sometimes their nearness can bring unintended judgment.

• Do the inner work. We can’t always change others, but we can ask God to change us. I prayed, Lord, change me. And He did—slowly, gently, deeply.

• Reframe your story. The enemy loves silence and shame. But our testimony—no matter how messy—has power. It can free someone else and remind you of God's restorative work in your life. Healing begins when we tell the truth through the lens of hope.

• Hold on to Scripture. The Word of God became my survival manual. Verses like Romans 5:1-5, Proverbs 14:1 and Matthew 26 reminded me that wisdom builds, and nothing poured out for God is wasted.

Gratitude After the Grief

Even in loss, I’m grateful. Grateful for the lessons my marriage taught me. Grateful for the laughter we shared and the way my spouse invested in me. Grateful for the way God used it all to refine me—for parenting, for ministry, for life. My children are the most precious tangible treasure that came from our union, and the strength I carry now comes from both the pain and the love.

Moving Forward

This isn’t just my story—it’s God’s. I hope it encourages you to reflect, to grow, and to speak. Let us never underestimate the power of honesty, community, and a heart fully surrendered to God.

Keep praising. Keep processing. Keep pouring out—like oil from your own alabaster box.

Prayer

Father, thank you that you are a God who stands beside the weary, guiding us in the process of searching our hearts and minds while we grieve. Hold us steady by your infinite love, grace, and wisdom. Thank you that you are a God who seeks to restore our souls. As we reframe are hardships to see and understand our relationship with you, ourselves and others, may we find treasures of hope, gratitude and purpose to dispel shame, guilt or despair. Amen